Quick Guides by Skill

Reset in 60 Seconds

A quick breathing reset

Best for: Needing to calm down fast, before a conversation

When might I use this?

When you feel tense, frustrated, overwhelmed, or simply need a moment to reset.

Try This

1. Sit comfortably and let your shoulders relax.
2. Breathe in slowly for 4 counts.
3. Hold gently for 4 counts.
4. Breathe out slowly for 4 counts.
5. Pause for 4 counts.
6. Repeat for a few rounds.

Try This Today

Before your next difficult conversation, take one slow breath and give yourself a moment before responding.

Remember

You don't have to make every problem disappear. Sometimes the first step is simply giving yourself a moment to pause before deciding what to do next.

Pause, Notice, Choose

Sometimes our first reaction isn't our only option.

Best for: Impulsive reactions, broadly

When something frustrating happens, try:

Pause

Give yourself a moment before reacting.

Notice

Ask yourself:

• What am I feeling right now?
• What am I thinking?
• What is happening around me?

Choose

Ask:

• What do I want to happen next?
• What response could help rather than make things worse?

Remember

Having a strong reaction doesn't make you a bad person. Learning to create a little space between a feeling and a response is a skill you can practice.

Catch the Thought

Not every thought is a fact.

Best for: Spiraling or catastrophizing thoughts

Sometimes our minds make quick assumptions, especially when we're stressed.

Try This

1. Catch it: “What am I telling myself right now?”
2. Question it: “Do I know this is completely true?”
3. Reframe it: “Is there another way I could look at this?”

Example

• Automatic thought: “Everyone is against me.”
• Question: “Do I actually know that?”
• Possible reframe: “I'm having a difficult moment, but that doesn't mean everyone is against me.”

Remember

You don't have to force yourself to think positively. The goal is simply to make your thinking more balanced and useful.

Build Your Reset List

Everyone has things that help them feel more grounded.

Best for: Planning ahead, before a hard moment hits

Create your own Reset List. Jot down an answer for each prompt — on paper, in your phone, wherever you'll find it when you need it.

• Something I can do in 1 minute:
• Something that helps me calm down:
• Someone I can talk to:
• Something I enjoy doing:
• A place where I feel comfortable:
• Something I want to remind myself:

Remember

I don't have to solve everything at once. I can take the next helpful step.

Grounding: The 5-4-3-2-1 Method

A quick way to come back to the present moment

Best for: Acute anxiety or panic in the moment

When might I use this?

When anxiety or overwhelm hits and your mind starts spiraling into “what if” thinking.

Try This

1. Name 5 things you can see.
2. Name 4 things you can touch.
3. Name 3 things you can hear.
4. Name 2 things you can smell.
5. Name 1 thing you can taste.

Try This Today

Next time you feel anxious, try going through all five senses once, slowly, before deciding what to do next.

Remember

You don't have to stop every anxious thought. Grounding just helps pull your attention back to the present, where you actually are right now.

Supporting a Friend Who's Struggling

You don't have to fix it to help

Best for: Not knowing how to help someone else

When might I use this?

When a friend opens up about something hard, and you're not sure what to say or do.

Try This

1. Ask if they want advice or just want to be heard.
2. Say “that sounds really hard” instead of minimizing it.
3. Stay, even if it feels awkward or quiet.
4. If they mention wanting to hurt themselves or someone else, get a trusted adult involved.

Try This Today

Next time a friend opens up, try starting with “that sounds really hard” before jumping to advice.

Remember

Showing up matters more than finding the perfect words. You don't have to carry it alone, either — it's okay to get an adult involved when something feels bigger than you.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Protecting your time and energy without guilt

Best for: Resentment or burnout from overcommitting

When might I use this?

When you notice resentment, dread, or exhaustion around a person or commitment.

Try This

1. Notice the signal: resentment or dread is often a sign a boundary is needed.
2. Keep it short: “I can't tonight, but I'm free this weekend.”
3. Expect some discomfort — it doesn't mean you did something wrong.
4. Stay consistent, even when it feels easier not to.

Try This Today

Think of one small boundary you've been avoiding, and practice saying it out loud, even just to yourself.

Remember

A boundary isn't shutting someone out. It's being honest about what you can give right now, so your relationships stay sustainable instead of draining.

Self-Compassion

Talking to yourself the way you'd talk to a friend

Best for: Harsh self-talk after a mistake

When might I use this?

When you catch yourself being harsh after a mistake or setback.

Try This

1. Notice the harsh voice: “I'm so stupid” is a thought, not a fact.
2. Ask the friend-test: would you say this to a friend?
3. Name the feeling plainly: “I'm disappointed” instead of an insult.
4. Remember that struggling sometimes is common, not personal.

Try This Today

Next time you catch a harsh thought, rewrite it the way you'd say it to a friend.

Remember

Being honest with yourself doesn't mean being cruel to yourself. Everyone falls short sometimes — that doesn't make it less frustrating, but it does make it less personal.

Managing Anger in the Moment

Buying yourself time before you react

Best for: The urge to react while angry

When might I use this?

When anger rises fast and you're worried about reacting in a way you'll regret.

Try This

1. Notice the body signs early: clenched jaw, tight chest, heat in your face.
2. Create a pause — even five seconds can change what you say.
3. Unclench your hands, drop your shoulders, slow your breathing.
4. Revisit it later if you still need to say something, once you're calmer.

Try This Today

Next time anger rises, try counting backward from 10 before you speak or respond.

Remember

Anger itself isn't the problem — it's a normal signal that something feels unfair. The goal isn't to never feel it, it's to avoid reacting in a way you'll regret once it passes.