A trauma-informed toolkit for mentors

Foundational guidance every coach should read before using the rest of the library — how to build trust, recognize when something more serious may be going on, and know where your role ends and a professional's begins.

Coach Implementation Guide

This section provides the foundational guidance every coach should read before using the rest of the library — how to build trust, recognize when something more serious may be going on, and know where your role ends and a professional's begins.

Building Trust

Trust is built through small, consistent actions more than big gestures: showing up when you say you will, remembering details from past conversations, and treating a young person's concerns as genuinely important rather than brushing them off. Consistency over time matters more than any single interaction.

Creating Safe Spaces

A safe space is one where a young person feels they won't be judged, punished, or dismissed for being honest. Practical ways to build this: keep confidentiality except where safety requires otherwise (and be upfront about that boundary), avoid reacting with shock or lecturing when something difficult is shared, and give young people some say in how a conversation happens.

Trauma-Informed Support

Many young people in mentoring relationships have experienced stressful or difficult life events. Coaches don't need to know a young person's history to apply a few basic trauma-informed principles that build trust and avoid unintentionally adding stress.

Core Principles

• Safety First: Predictable routines, consistent expectations, and a calm tone help young people feel secure.
• Trustworthiness and Transparency: Be clear about what to expect, and follow through consistently.
• Choice and Voice: Offer choices when possible, and invite input rather than only giving directions.
• Collaboration: Work alongside young people rather than imposing decisions on them.
• Recognizing Trauma Responses: Withdrawal, defensiveness, or difficulty focusing may be protective responses, not defiance.

Practical Reminders

• Avoid assuming a behavior is intentional defiance.
• Stay calm and consistent, even when a young person reacts strongly.
• Give advance notice of changes when possible.
• Avoid punitive or shaming language.
• Focus on strengths and progress, not just setbacks.

Community Resiliency Model (CRM)

CRM is a set of simple, body-based skills — like grounding and tracking physical sensation — that help regulate the nervous system during stress. Coaches don't need clinical training to use basic CRM techniques; they're designed to be taught peer-to-peer. A simple starting technique: ask a young person to notice something in the room that feels neutral or pleasant, and describe it out loud — this is "grounding," one of CRM's core skills.

Communication Tips

• Listen more than you speak, especially in the first few minutes of a difficult conversation.
• Reflect back what you heard before offering advice — "It sounds like..." goes a long way.
• Avoid leading with "why" questions, which can feel accusatory; try "what happened" instead.
• Silence isn't something to fill immediately — give young people room to think.

Coaching Conversation Starters

• "What's been the best part of your week so far?"
• "Is there anything on your mind that you want to talk through?"
• "What's one thing that's been stressing you out lately?"
• "What's something you're proud of that we haven't talked about?"

Weekly Wellness Activities

Simple, low-prep activities coaches can rotate through week to week: a two-minute grounding exercise at the start of a session, a "rose and thorn" check-in (one good thing, one hard thing), a short goal-setting exercise for the week ahead, or a gratitude round if working with a group.

Recognizing Warning Signs

While coaches are not expected to diagnose or treat mental health concerns, they are often well-positioned to notice changes. Examples may include significant changes in mood or behavior, withdrawal from activities, persistent sadness or anxiety, difficulty concentrating, and expressions of hopelessness.

When to Refer Youth

When concerns arise, coaches should follow their program's established policies and procedures and notify the appropriate supervisor. If a young person appears to be in immediate danger, or there is concern for their safety or the safety of others, contact emergency services immediately.